Homesick For Where?

I just realised, haven't blogged much about where I am living now. Hmm, why's that?  

I'm unsettled. I seriously miss West End and the hustle and bustle of inner city life. It's funny.... because it's where I spent a very sad period in my life. You'd think I couldn't wait to get out of there... but West End healed me and sustained me when I was vulnerable and heartbroken. I got to know 'me' again in West End. I'd love to head back there in the not so distant future. I'd be closer to my house build for a start.....but the boys are joyous out here in the suburbs....with the neighbourhood kids and weekend nerf wars and billycarts and street cricket.

This spot, above, is the half way mark in my morning run (looking back up the river to Tennyson) where I always stop to catch my breath and chat to whoever is walking past at the time. 

I still get to run along the river, just like West End... except there's no Bill to stop and chat to.... and no Justine to wave to... and no little old Greek men sitting on their porches waving to me every day, rain, hail or shine. Yeah, I miss the place. I go back every Friday to hang out in Justine's and chat to Bill... but it's not the same as living there.

If I did go back, it wouldn't be the same anyway. I'm in a different head space. I wouldn't see it through the same eyes. I leaned on West End when I needed her and all her 'supporting cast'. Time has passed. Things have changed. 

Am I homesick? I think I am. But homesick for where? Where am I supposed to live? Home is where the heart is, yes, my loved ones are with me and I'm surrounded by my things..... but I don't feel that I am physically home yet..... wherever that may be? Maybe my heart is still looking for home?

Is anyone else out there searching for home?