Balancing Your Time as a Young Family

Mrs. Idotf wrote this question in her comment on a recent post about time management:

I have a 20 month old and now a 5 week old and I am struggling with my time. I want to walk wisely and spend my time in ways that honor the Lord and that help my family. It often seems difficult when pulled in different directions to give everyone that quality time they deserve. Especially to have quality time with my husband- who seems to get neglected.

Since you are a mom- of more than two- do you have any advise?

Mrs. I, sure, I've got some thoughts about this.

First off, even if you're a laid back, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants family, once you add in a second (or third, or fourth, or....) child, you probably need more predictability than you did with no children, or with only one. This can be done in many ways. Here are some ways I have some predictability in our lives:

• We operate on a flexible routine as a family, particularly regarding sleep and meals. We're not extra planned-out sort of people, but for us, having an expected naptime and a certain bedtime for all children makes things much easier. For example, in our home, all kids four and under take naps in the afternoon, every afternoon. Around age four is when, if their attitude allows it, they may begin staying up during naptime. Even still, they must have a quiet reading time for 1 & 1/2 to 2 hours every afternoon. It's good for everyone to have a bit of a mid-day rest and some quiet time each day.
  
  
• The more children we've added to our family, I have implemented some helpful house routines. Mine mostly have to do with food and seasonal clothing shifts, but other moms of many often have laundry or cleaning routines. For the last year or so, we have operated on a 4-week meal schedule that never changes. That way, I don't have to re-make grocery lists, meal plans, recipe lists, or get stuck at 6pm wishing I'd thought in advance about dinner plans. But not everyone operates like this. I'd say, start with one routine-- whether you use Flylady for cleaning, or have a generic laundry plan (i.e., Mon- sheets, Wed- whites, Fri- colors) or some sort of cooking/shopping plan. As your family grows, you can add more routines if you need them, but this will take care of one pressure area and reduce stress.
  
  
• We make time together as a couple a BIG priority. Every night, by 7:30 or 8pm, the kids are all in bed (yes, even the nursing infant who will be fed at 10:30/11:30 before sleeping through the rest of the night)... and we have time together as a couple. Time to talk. Time to chill out in the complete quiet. Time to watch a movie. Time to vent about the frustrations of the day. Time to sit next to each other and read on the couch. Time to do other, ahem, stuff together as a couple. The point is, that we make time for each other, and that is a GREAT part of each day... once the kids are down, we can chill out together for a bit before it's time to hit the sack.
  
  
• Make some way to get some spiritual "food" throughout the day. Sign up for iTunes and download some great podcasts and free audioBible portions. Buy an entire audio Bible (you could probably get one at a used bookstore for fairly inexpensive) and get in the habit of listening to at least 15-30 minutes of Scripture each day (more, if you do it at various points throughout the day). You really will be amazed at how much of God's Word you can take in by doing this.
  
  And don't be afraid to meditate over the same portion of Scripture for a week or more. Keep listening to it and drinking deep from the well of wisdom and truth that God has given us in His Word. This is one EXCELLENT way I've discovered in the last year to be actively taking in the Word of God... to listen to it at various times throughout each day, soaking in the same chapters and book multiples of times over the course of a month.
  

I wanted to say, too, Mrs. I, that this time that you're in is (in my view) the hardest time on a mom... all of the little ones are too little to do anything for themselves. Once even one child is five or six years old, in my experience (and from what I've heard from others), it seems to make a huge HEAP of a difference in how "hard" it is. Having multiple babies and/or toddlers really is a time-consuming, difficult job, and yet it is a precious time, full of rich memories and sweet snuggles. I hope even one thing I've said can help make this a slightly easier time for you as you try to honor God and your family with these moments of your life.


I'm sure other moms have more ideas about how to balance time together as a couple with young kiddos... if so, please feel free to share your thoughts here!

THE COLONIAL KITCHEN

'Colonial Kitchens ~ Not Glamorous Places'
Beaver County Times, July 2, 1975

The Colonial farm wife's stove was an open fireplace, and meal preparation could be both an arduous and smoky chore. One observer of the day reported, "This was a hard way to cook. Women would nearly break their backs lifting these heavy kettles on and off, burn their faces. smoke their eyes, singe their hair, blister their hands and scorch their clothes."

Another pioneer recalled his days on the frontier in the late 1770's: "Matches were not in use. hence fires were covered with ashes at night so as to preserve some live coals in the -morning. Rich people had a little pair of bellows to blow these live coals into a blaze but poor people had to do the best they could with their mouths. After having nearly smoked out my eyes trying to blow coals into life, I have had to give it up and go to a neighbor to borrow a shovel of fire."

The most important utensil for fireplace cooking was, naturally, the dinner pot, a stewing kettle which held five to ten gallons and weighed 20 or more pounds. Into this went meat and vegetables for the hearty stews that sustained the frontier men. Conquering a new land was hard work. The quantity of food was much more important to them than what they ate or how they ate it.

Meats might also be fried on the coals in a spider or skillet. or roasted on a spit before the fire, with a pan for drippings beneath. One way many colonials roasted fowl or joints of meat was to suspend them in front of the fireplace with a cord tied to a rafter. The meat had to be turned frequently. usually by hand. Advertisements for a mechanical turner appeared in Benjamin Franklin's "Pennsylvania Gazette" in 1740.

One Colonial farmer described the kitchen utensils thus: "The crane had a set of rods with hooks on each end, graduated in length so as to hang the kettle at the proper height from the fire. In addition to kettles we had the long-handled frying-pan, the three-legged short-handled spider and the griddle for buckwheat cakes. Then there was the bake-kettle or oven, with legs and a closely fitted cover. In this was baked the pone (cornpone) for the family. I can say truthfully that pone was not used more than thirty days a month."

Corn in all its splendid variety was a staple of the colonial diet, and the methods for preserving it were almost as numerous as the means of cooking it. Settlers who were remote from grist mills had two methods of grinding corn. One was grinding it with a hand mill, the other was with a mortor and pestle. The mortar of the first settlers, like that of the Indians, was a large block of wood with a burnt out hole a foot or more deep. The pestle was a long, rounded stone weighing 10 or 12 pounds, or along, rounded block of wood.

Table utensils were as un-glorified as the tools that were used to prepare the food. They were mostly of wood and homemade, with the most common being a trencher, a kind of plate. Pewter, silver, glassware and crockery were almost unknown in the early colonies, and those pieces that did exist were used only on very special occasions.

There were almost no forks on the colonial farm table, but there were spoons. Knives were used not only to cut meat, but to convey it to the mouth.

Knowing God: Being Known

"There is, certainly, great cause for humility in the thought that He sees all the twisted things about me that my fellow humans do not see (and I am glad!), and that he sees more corruption in me than that which I see in myself (which, in all conscience, is enough!)." ~Knowing God, J.I. Packer, p. 42

I've been attempting lately to read more "heavy" Christian literature... the old stuff like Puritans, and the slightly newer but still not hot-off-the-presses stuff like Sproul. I'm taking on Packer's Knowing God now, which it seems like I should have done ages ago.

And it is breaking me. I can feel it just weighing down on me in a glorious way. Revealing just how selfish and wicked I truly am. How much my sinful, egocentric heart would be content to just gleefully skip through life focused on myself and the externals of the Christian woman's life and lot without actually panting after Christ.

He sees every single thing about me whether I knowingly draw near or not. The King of Kings, the Sovereign Lord of all, the Creator of the farthest stars and the fingers I'm now typing with... HE seeks ME out. I am simultaneously humbled by His intentional pursuit of me and shamefully aware of my own lack of true intent and concern for drawing near to Him. How many times do I choose my own strength? My own way? My own "wisdom"?

And how often, when I listen to or read the Word, am I listening for a "rhema" word (a word for ME), asking Him to speak specifically about me and my life, rather than listening for HIM, no matter what it is He says?

"My sheep listen to my voice." ~Jesus

Lord, let me listen. Teach me to listen. Show me how to listen, not merely for the things I want to hear-- but for anything and everything You have to say to me. Teach me to rest and revel in the knowledge that you see everything about me and yet you love me. Don't let me crowd out your all-knowing, all-seeing love with anything else in my life. Sinful though I am, show me how to respond to your pursuit of me, most holy God.

City of Ember

City of Ember is a movie coming out in October based on a young adult book set in a post apocalyptic world where the only remaining people on earth live underground with light and power provided by a generator. The generator is failing....



I haven't read the book, although I just ordered it, but the movie preview shows some very promising sets centered around an aging industrial electrical environment... one might even be able to call it steampunk.


The trailer:

These photos (and more) at IGN.

Knowing God: The Study of God

So I'm reading J.I. Packer's "Knowing God", and a friend of mine just challenged me today to start sharing more of what I'm reading... so here goes. Maybe it will be a bit heady in some places, and overly vulnerable in others, but perhaps my sharing will lure you into what, by all accounts, is an amazingly good book.

"If we pursue theological education for its own sake, it is bound to go bad on us. It will make us proud and conceited. The very greatness of the subject matter will intoxicate us, and we shall come to think of ourselves as a cut above other Christians because of our interest in it and grasp of it." ~J.I. Packer, Knowing God, p.22

God, keep me from this!

A mom of ten that I respect a great deal has a certain dislike for theology. She rightly points out that it often leads to fighting (which I, too, dislike). And she gets her "theology" (knowledge of God) from her multiple passes through the Word of God each year. She listens to the Bible on CD throughout the day, and she keeps her Bible open on her kitchen counter and reads as she's going about life.

And I try to carry out some of these same principles in our home, too, so that I'm taking in great amounts of Scripture to learn of the character of God.

One of the most helpful things I've done recently is to listen repeatedly to the Pentateuch (the first five books of the Bible) on audio (through iTunes-- I love it! I can make my daily "list" of things to listen to and not have to fuss with it throughout the day). This same mom of ten actually recommended this as well. She said a great way to learn about God as a Father (and to have an idea of how God parented the Israelites when they were a young nation) is to listen to the Pentateuch over and over again, with that question in mind. "How did God "father" them?" And it's true. I've learned so much about God as Father (and gained even more solid footing in biblical discipline of my children) by doing this.

At the same time, though, I believe that our grasp of Scripture and our knowledge of God (not just about Him, but knowing HIM) can be enhanced and rightly shaped by reading mature, thoughtful, proven theological books, sermons, and other writings. I sincerely hope that, while spurred on by the "great books" (even, and perhaps I should say "especially" by the great theological books) of Christian faith, my theology will come from the Word of God and be learned with a humble spirit. That is my hope and prayer.

"Knowledge puffs up... the man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know." ~1 Corinthians 8:1-2

French Market

As most of you know I recently closed my brick and mortar shop to travel and do shows. There are many lines I carried in the shop that I am not able to sell at these venues so I will be offering them for sale here on the blog. If you are interested please email me to arrange to purchase something. I will answer any questions as well. I accept Paypal, personal checks and money orders. I will charge exact shipping and insurance is required on all items. All sales are final.


Large lotus flower candle holder>> $32 (candle not included--2 available)


Small lotus candle holder>>$17 (2 available)


Set of 3 tin pots in soft blue-green with pink roses (lg-9 1/4" tall) (med-8" tall) (sm-6 1/2" tall)
$52 for the set


Petite dress form (not old) 27 1/2" tall>>$135


Reproduction mercury glass vase (7 1/2" tall)>>$38


Set of three reproduction mercury glass candle holders (lg-8" med 5 1/2" sm 3")
$60 for set


Burlap messenger bag--4 available>>$34


Framed bird nest available in black or green wood>>$28 (2 black, 2 green available)


Resin finial from Aidan Gray 14" tall ( 2 available)>>$45 each

It is NOT Our Culture that has Sexualized the Breasts

This (the idea that our culture has sexualized the breasts) is an oft-repeated notion that drives me crazy. You hear it a lot in the breastfeeding literature-- "oh, our society needs to get over its sexual fascination with the breasts... HELLO! They're for FEEDING BABIES". Yes. That's true. They ARE for feeding babies. And they are ALSO for delighting a husband.

Proverbs 5:18-20:

Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
...
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?

Song of Solomon 7:7-9:

Your stature is like a palm tree,
and your breasts are like its clusters.
I say I will climb the palm tree and lay hold of its fruit. Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine,
and the scent of your breath like apples,
and your mouth like the best wine.

I'm just saying.

American men aren't the only ones who have liked em, ya know? And it's not a sin to like em. It's which ones he is delighted by that makes the difference. So, if you're married, let him delight in yours. ;-) And if you're nursing, don't fool yourself into thinking that discretion is never necessary because "there's nothing sexual" about them. There is. And it ain't new.

And if you disagree, don't take it up with me. Take it up with the Bible, thankyouverymuch.

The Intentional Marriage

In life, we could just put one foot in front of the other and "make it". OR, we can live intentionally and really engage in the adventure of sanctification God has laid out for us. This is true of all areas of life, but it's definitely true for married life. Here are some ways that Doug & I have gone about intentionally living in, growing in, and fortifying our marriage:

* We talk, talk, talk. That doesn't mean that's all we do... but we talk through the things on our minds and hearts. The stresses, the good things. The difficult and wonderful things. Here's one way that we initially started doing this:

"HIGH/LOW"-- with this, you just share the "HIGH" and the "LOW" for that particular day. It's a low time commitment, but that way you're seeing the good and hard things in each other's lives. We don't do this very often now, because we're so used to talking about life together. But in the beginning of our marriage, particularly in the seasons where we were spending more time apart than together, this helped us to develop the habit of regular communication about the things that matter.

Now, our conversations usually start with, "what's on your mind?" Or, "what are you reading about?"

* We serve each other. He pours me big glasses of sweet tea. I make meals that he specifically likes. He gives me a foot rub several nights a week while we talk on the couch. I organize his books. He'll take the kids to the park so I can have some writing time. I keep the kids quiet some mornings so he can sleep in an extra hour or two. We BOTH contribute to each other's sanity in big and small ways.

* We keep the physical fires fanned and burning. If you've read here much at all, you know this is a big one for me. It's also one that I don't want to give too many specifics about in such a public forum. You can always e-mail me if you want to talk about specific questions/situations, etc. But I will say these things: He's not the only one who initiates. We make this part of our relationship a very crucial, regular, fun, growing, and passionate priority. We work hard to make this a really wonderful time to come together and re-connect. We still flirt with each other. And we don't say no.

On that last point, here are some things that help me put it into perspective:

1. When I'm 75, will I look back with regret at consistently (or even occasionally) having told him "no" when he tried to pursue me? Or with satisfaction and thankfulness because I really did get outside of myself and love and serve my dh in this area of marital intimacy?
2. Have I ever regretted doing it? (That old, "it's like exercise" thing-- even when you weren't wanting to, you're never sorry once you've done it.)
3. I'm the only woman who can righteously love my husband in this way.
4. My friend Chloe said this-- for women, it can be likened to a campfire... if you keep the coals warm, it's easier to get things blazing again than if you let the fire go out between uses. SO, don't go too long between times. Keep those coals warm and ready for a regular fire.
5. The optimal sexual encounter lasts between 3 and 13 minutes. SURELY we can make time for 3 to 13 minutes, even on our busiest days!

* We STILL "date" each other. Ours doesn't look like actual "go out to the movies" kind of dates very often ... BUT, our kids are in bed every night by 7:30/8pm. So, we can kind of have a date night whenever we want. Sometimes we'll watch a comedy and laugh together. Or we'll sit on the couch and read together, with our legs touching and the occasional smile and wink as we turn a page. Little things like that can really re-connect you in the midst of the storm. The point is to take time to BE together and enjoy it.

Building the relationship throughout the day:

• Before he leaves for work, tell him something you respect him for, and give him a big nice long kiss.
• When he passes you in the kitchen while you're making dinner, flirt with each other... don't lose sight of the fact that this was the man that 3, 10, or 35 years ago, you couldn't WAIT to be around!
• At dinner, make a point to really talk and listen to each other. Even if it's only for 5-10 minutes of the meal, intentionally connect during that time. Sure, when you have little ones, one of you is cutting pieces of chicken into smaller bites and the other one is grabbing a dish towel cause the child who always spills something at every meal has struck again... but that's life. Enjoy those moments together.
• Get on the same page about the things that matter... money, kids, extended family relationships, time management, etc. Talk through these things and approach them as working together as a team rather than as each of you picking the other apart or trying to "fix" what's wrong with the other person. And respect his leadership in these areas as the head of the home.
  
• Try to still do the things that connected you early on... holding hands, kissing for more than a short peck, leaving each other notes (if you did that), talking about baseball/music/politics (whatever it was you loved discussing together), etc.
• BUT ALSO-- find some new things that can connect you. Perhaps he's knee-deep in learning about real estate, or the five points of Calvinism, or various approaches to website building, or some such thing. FIND POINTS of discussion and sharing about those things. And share with him the things YOU'RE thinking about and learning. Don't brush each other off and just say, "oh, he's talking about x... I'll never understand why he cares about that." Or "homeschooling is my thing..." and then zone out. Bring each other along for the journeys you're both on. Delight in the things that the other is delighting in. Learn about the things that matter to him (like football drafts, or March Madness). Talk through the things that are troubling you. Share the concerns you have about a particular child's behavior, or the relationship with the in-laws, or the direction your church is heading.

SHARE LIFE TOGETHER. Don't just live life on parallel tracks... get on the SAME track and travel it together.

Something I find helpful during stressful moments is to realize that this is God's adventure for OUR lives. THIS IS MY REAL LIFE. I won't get these moments back, I won't get a re-do. The way I'm living now can't be altered later. The way my marriage is now can't be erased and re-written. I need to walk in the way that I will want to have walked when I am old.

Thoughts? Anything you want to add?

Show & Tell: Back in Full Force

By now, you all know that I love these show & tell posts. So here we go again. Click on whatever interests you, until you have one less tab open than will crash your computer. ;-)

SINGLENESS, DATING, & MARRIAGE

• But I Want One!-- When a desire for marriage eclipses contentment
• I Think You Want a Wife! A poignant word on the difficulty but brilliancy of surrendering as a woman
  
• Not a Virgin-- When the man/woman of your dreams has been intimate with someone else
  
• "Get Married"-- A new book, to which my single friends reply, "If only it were that easy!" Nevertheless it sounds like it's worth a read.
• How Far is Too Far?-- A great read for setting up boundaries for dating
• When Christian literature goes awry: man-centered theology-- Romance With God?
• IF YOU ARE A MARRIED WOMAN (or one day, would like to be), READ THIS ARTICLE: the 80/20 principle.

CHILDREN & PARENTING

• Organizing your kids' drawers in a kid-friendly way
• Sleeping through the night: it really can happen.
• SLINGS: Make your own. Seriously-- I did.
  
• A book for godly boyhood: I keep seeing this recommended by parents I respect.
  
• A book for godly girlhood: Another book I see recommended a lot.
  
• Christian childhood reading list... great suggestions here.
• Sorrowful parents: here's what happens when the self-esteem generation becomes parents
  
• Reflections on motherhood by a new mom (of an adopted 15-year-old) who happens to be an old friend of mine.
  
• Are Christian parents encouraging cold feet?

HOME

• Housework distribution-- interesting that, no matter how you cut it, women end up doing the housework. Maybe because we are supposed to be "keepers of our homes"?
• Family heirloom or just more STUFF?
• Interested in family history? This website might help you research your genealogy.
• Are you SAVING BIG MONEY by playing the CVS game? (I SO would be doing this, were I still in America.) Here are some explanations of how to save BIG TIME money: CVS 101, Making CVS Work for You, A CVS Primer). Now, get thee to a CVS and do what I can't do: stock up and save big at CVS.
• Wants, Needs, and Debt: an honest word from Catherine
• Are you lacking personal contentment?
• Tasty, meatless meal ideas: A great way to save money in this pinched economy
  
• A great new Heaven-focused album to listen to while you go about your day: Enfield

THIS JUST IN: Men & Women are Different

• Why Guys Dislike Church
• Why are so many women depressed?
  
• Expressing our concern about same-sex marriage
• Embedded in this article is an interesting paragraph about the price of feminism
• "The Pregnant Man": what a lot of hooplah about such a confused person
• Are young people more complementarian than their parents?
• Another article about complementarianism worth a read.
• Why our perspective on manhood & womanhood affects all of life

ISSUES THAT MATTER: Politics and more

• Obama's lack of awareness of his lack of experience
• Birth Control Timeline-- an insightful resource for understanding the rapid expansion of birth control usage in the last century
  
• FOUNDER OF PLANNED PARENTHOOD: Margaret Sanger interviewed-- thoughts on birth control, God, abortion, and more-- a fascinating read
• The Chinese in China-- an interesting way to look at the Chinese population and understand why they careful control minority populations
• TV Titles for news interviewees-- a "behind the scenes" look at political television
  

HERE, THERE, & EVERYWHERE: Interesting Miscellany

• Puritan Prayers-- this link may sound dull, but I'm telling you-- these prayers are RICH, and (though very old) might just inspire you and challenge you in completely new ways.
• Strategies to Keep From Falling: My favorite author, Randy Alcorn, writes about sexual purity.
• Sharpen your brain: MENSA GAMES
• Free IQ Test-- online and fun. I love this kind of stuff.
• WHY AMERICA IS RICH, and other musings about world evangelism.
  
• Top 20 Jobs-- the growth and disappearing of jobs. Good stuff to know, whether you're a homeschool mom or a young person, or in any way rely on jobs for any reason. Hmmm....
• HEAVEN ON EARTH: Really. (And in my head Belinda Carlisle is singing, "Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?")
  

GOOD FOR A SMILE

• Lamentations of the Father
• The Happy Round-the-World Dancer- if you haven't seen this, you've gotta watch it. With your kids.
• Song of Solomon Illustrated (this is a family friendly link-- no worries!)

As always, happy reading!!!

When the Person that "Wears the Pants" in the Family is a Size 2T

I'll just jump right in. Though my words are straightforward and bold, I pray that they will be received with careful reflection. It is not for the purpose of criticizing, but rather for encouraging mothers in careful discipline and parenting of their children, that I have written what follows.


There is something that bothers me and seems to get lost in the whole infant feeding/sleeping debates, and in the debates about certain parenting books and their authors. That is, that those debates cloud the real issues at hand regarding child training. And it is possible that those who passionately fall on either side might miss the big picture.

WHAT MATTERS
Frankly, biblically speaking, it doesn't matter to me whether you feed every waking and sleeping moment of every day, or whether you feed every 3 hours on the nose. Biblically speaking, it doesn't matter to me whether your child sleeps through the night at 6 weeks or at 6 years.

What does matter, biblically speaking, is that you train your child in the way he should go. What does matter, biblically speaking, is that you teach your child to obey you (his/her parents) in everything. What does matter, biblically speaking, is that foolishness is driven out from your child's heart and is replaced with a fear of God and an understanding of what the Lord has done for us, and for this world.

UNDISCIPLINED CHILDREN: A COMMON OCCURRENCE
What concerns me is that I see too many children raised in Christian families who are not taught and expected to obey. They are allowed to dishonor their parents with their yelling, tantrums, and emotional displays. They are allowed to intentionally and brazenly disobey their parents, without repercussions of any kind. They are encouraged in selfishness and materialism by parents who don't set limits and stand by them. They are outright rude to siblings, guests and adults, and it goes uncorrected.

We have less children than any generation before us, and more parenting advice at our fingertips, and yet we parent them worse.

Is it ANY wonder that we see so many variations on the theme of depressed, psychotic, and medicine-requiring mommies? These moms are told by various parenting experts that they are doing the right things, and to just "hang in there", and that "this stage" is a tough one (aren't they all labeled a tough stage by one "expert" or another?). But these moms are slowly slipping over the edge because of the disobedience and disrespect of their children.

You can see it in the raw moments of a women's Bible study at your church, or in the public discussions on some online message boards. When a mom has been deceived into thinking that discipline is harsh and that it is not to be employed or sought by a gentle, loving, Christian mom, she is left without biblical support for pursuing the very thing her heart desires-- the cheerful obedience of her children. She grasps for labels or special psychological terminology. She just doesn't understand why things are going so. very. badly. Indeed, she may feel guilty for simply desiring obedience and find herself wallowing in a discouraging version of motherhood that seems far more like a curse than a blessing.

BEYOND INFANCY
Motherhood becomes a duty and a bitter pill to swallow when the person who wears the pants in the family is a toddler. It really doesn't matter how you feed your infant. That's your business. I've shared here before how we handle the feeding/sleeping issues in our home-- and how much it enables and facilitates joyful family life in our home. But if you want to do things differently, that's completely your call.

The Bible does not clearly spell out a feeding regimen for babies, either towards rigidity, or towards fluidity. Nor does it give specifics on newborn care. It really is a matter of preference.

But the Bible DOES spell out a requirement for parents: children must obey. You (as the parent) are to instruct and train them in this. It is not optional. It is not easy. It is not pleasant at the time, and will not be something they always enjoy. So whatever parenting "method" you employ for the first year of your child's life, once that child begins willfully choosing to disobey and dishonor you, the Bible makes it clear that THAT is not honoring to the Lord.

By reaching age two, the average child is acting and using their voice in ways that ought to be met with firm, loving discipline. They begin to rebel, defy, and assert their demands... and if parents aren't careful --no matter what they've done up to this point-- if they do not at this point use careful, intentional, biblical discipline to teach and train their children in obedience, things can quickly unravel. Soon, the person in control of the family atmosphere is a child.

DISCIPLINE
Though our culture sees disobedience as a natural exertion of individualism, defiance as being "spirited", and rebellion as "normal", God calls it evil. Israel was told to stone a defiant and rebellious child, and yet in our society today, parents are thought cruel and heartless when they mete out just discipline to an undeniable disobedient and disrespectful child. Seasoned parents know different-- but when you surround yourself with psycho-babble raised peers, it is easy to have good judgment overruled by the pleasant-sounding but poor-resulting parenting advice so easily given by our sin-excusing culture.

Though our flesh and our culture rises up against the notion of discipline, the Word of God says these things about discipline:

• A father who delights in his son disciplines his son.
• Those who are disciplined rest in the day of trouble.
• We show love to our children by diligently disciplining them.
• Discipline drives foolishness out of a child.
• A well-disciplined child gives delight and rest to his parents. (Contrast that with the frustration and exhaustion of many mothers and fathers today!)
• Fathers are commanded to give discipline and instruction to their children.
• Those who discipline their children follow the loving example of God.
  

And it says these things about lack of discipline:

• Lack of discipline leads to foolishness and death.
• Those who hate and reject discipline are stupid.
  
• Those who despise discipline ruin their lives.
• Those who do not discipline are treating their children as illegitimate. Real parents discipline their children.
  
• Those who do not discipline are not seeking good for their children.
• Those who do not discipline have only looked at this present time and overlook the harvest of unrighteousness that will come in the future for those who do not learn to heed discipline.

Whatever our infant feeding method, whatever our favorite parenting "book", if we do not discipline our children with a goal of obedience and instruction in the Lord's ways, we are sinning. I want to encourage others to not feel guilty for obeying God's Word. Do not grow weary in disciplining and instructing your children. It is biblical and right to give clear, firm, loving discipline to a wayward child. Do not fall prey to the bankrupt philosophies of the world (or even "Christian" parenting methods) that tell you to only say yes, to not expect obedience, or to seek primarily to befriend your child without parenting and disciplining him.

Instruct your children. Discipline your children. Train your children. Teach your children. This is the loving thing to do. If your "parenting method" encourages you to do any different than this-- if it "softens" or waters down the Word of God-- drop the parenting method, rather than disobeying God.


The main thing I want to communicate is this: instead of listening to the "wisdom" of men, (even if they call it "Christian" advice), love the children God has given you by disciplining them according to His Word.

Navison Audio's reaction to the "brave new world of Ones & Zeros"

Cornelius left a comment pointing to Navison Audio, who manufactures audio equipment that I can only assume sounds as good as it looks (which is pretty good indeed!)



They make amplifiers, preamplifiers, and a CD player. I'm not going to say much, other than 'vacuum tube circuit design', but let Navison's website speak for them.

Culminating from our journey into vacuum tube circuit design Navison engineers set out to design a digital source component that simply got things right. Digital technology has certainly changed the world in many positive ways but music lovers have always been concerned that those magical moments caught in the recording process may get lost in this brave new world of Ones & Zeros.



By combining leading edge digital technology with Navison’s unique approach to vacuum tube circuit design this player gets to the heart of those special moments when everything in the performance and
recording process goes right. The Reference 228 captures the whole of the music performance allowing the listener to hear more then just nuance and really get the true message the artist intended.

Of course we made sure the Reference 228 looks as good as it sounds. Using our signature Barian Kingwood, gold plating and textured black finish this player is the same visual tour de force Navison preamps and amplifiers have become known for.

Ready to Roll

Well, I'm back. You may have noticed that blogger had some problems this last week, rendering my blog inaccessible. Which was OK. It's funny; I had some posts pre-scheduled to start posting a couple days ago... but apparently, I needed a LITTLE more time, so blogger made me unable to do anything, blogwise. :) So we'll reengage in a day or two.

Speaking transparently, this summer has been simultaneously one of the neatest and one of the most difficult seasons of life I've ever walked through.

My children absolutely crack me up and make life deliciously fun. Just this morning, Ethan showed me a Lego "couch" he had crafted, and then he lifted it up and showed me the bottom, "where the dust goes". :) That's one of the sheer delights of having kids... their creativity and good humor lightens the load of adult life. And Silas started crawling... at four and a half months. Nuts! Watching the development of personality, creativity, humor, relationships, spiritual and even physical growth of our children has been a great joy for me.

I'll share some of the difficulties... honestly, there's been nothing earth-shattering. I just have gone through a season of struggling for longer and deeper than ever before. Perhaps some of it is the continuation of culture shock (for those of you who don't know, we live overseas). Perhaps some of it is missing my family, my parents in particular. I've had some of you write and suggest that perhaps I'm going through something postpartum, but I honestly don't think so. Perhaps some of it is the fact that I was spending time reading, researching, and thinking through deep things but not "processing" through them here, in writing. I think writing is very therapeutic and necessary for me. So, ironically, I think the blog "sabbatical" contributed to a difficult summer even though it has allowed me to do more running around with and enjoying of moments with my kiddos. Anyway, I'm sharing in a rambling sort-of way, but I just wanted you to know, transparently, that I'm coming out of a difficult season.

My sweet husband urged me to snag some tickets back home, so I'll be visiting my parents for a few weeks in September (woohoo!)... and (confession?) I've been writing for the past couple of weeks... so these things have helped. But, quite honestly, I'm still in a funk. I am clinging to the scripture that none can snatch me out of God's hands. I am listening to God's wonders of the Exodus. I am reading and listening to sermons about Job. I am so very thankful for my husband's steady, warm, understanding love... he is such a selfless, humble man, and I can't express my gratitude for him in my life. I am trying to fix my eyes on Jesus and look with faith towards heaven instead of getting wrapped up in the disappointments and struggles of earth.

Like I said, there hasn't been any "big" event that has caused this struggle... I am just in a difficult spot, personally. I have a lot on my mind, though, and so with that, let's re-enter the conversation we left off a couple of months ago... about home... about parenting... about marriage... about life. I look forward to reengaging with you all about the issues that are close to my heart.



p.s. By the way, now that we've "lived with" this new blog theme for a while (the blue background), what do you think of it? Is it a bit much? It reminds me of a palace harem I visited here, but tell me what you think-- is it hard to read/look at?

Steampunking Ikea Cabinets

Speaking of modding Ikea cabinets, here's a set of Ivar cabinet doors that Rafael Fabre modded for his office.

The "raw" Ikea "Ivar" doors - unsanded, unstained, and uncoated

Ikea "Ivar" doors that are sanded (twice), stained (twice), coated (twice), projected placement of wood designes (blue/black base [salvaged from another project], and highlighted with a copper paint pen]). Also, the two squares above and below the "center square" on the door are actually from earrings from a 2nd hand store going out of business (50 cents per pair of earrings!)

The wood grain really comes through nicely.

MetalloArts -- Traditional Style Metal Kitchens

Kevin Ritter of Timeless Kitchen Design also pointed out his friends at MetalloArts. They do metal products for the kitchen. While I've been limiting my metal to backsplashes and dreaming of metal countertops, they create custom vent hoods, countertops, cabinets, and appliances with zinc, pewter, copper, and stainless steel.

I think the cabinet above is incredibly beautiful. (Could you possibly mod something like Ikea's black Sorbo cabinet doors to get a pale imitation?)


There pewter countertops are by far the most expensive countertop option I've seen ($400 per linear foot) but it's got definite style, and the MetalloArts edging adds a very traditional feel to the material.

We love kitchens! See all of The Steampunk Home's posts on kitchens.

Cheers For Caty

We all go about ours days wrapped up in our own little worlds and often take what we have for granted. I recently received an email from a reader who is trying to get the story of a young girl out there who recently learned that her world is about to change drastically. She's being very brave but we all need to keep her in our thoughts and prayers. Please check out her story at www.cheersforcaty.blogspot.com/.

Blessings,

Shelley

Writing on the Wall

My friend Patrick recently took this beautiful picture of the ceiling in the reading room of the main building at the University of Texas. Built in 1937, it made me realize that while using text as a decorating element has risen in popularity in the last couple of years, it is by no means a new phenomenon. (It says "The benefits of education and of useful knowledge, generally diffused though a community, are essential to the preservation of a free government. -- Sam Houston")

Here's another example from my library/dining room:


("I get a warm feeling among my books." --Anthony Powell) Although a less lofty sentiment, it suited the ambience of the room. While the reading room's phrase is painted, mine is done with Wonderful Graffiti, which makes it incredibly easy to create something suited perfectly to your environment -- you choose the color, size, font, and words. It goes on like a sticker (it's a bit harder than that -- you have to burnish it with a flat edge -- but easily done in an evening), and can come off without any permanent damage to your walls. (It's perfect if you rent.)

What quotes to use? At first I came up nil, but then ran across this one at the beginning of Cory Doctorow's new story: And I won’t always be this way, When the things that make me weak and strange get engineered away. —Jonathan Coulton, “The Future Soon” It has just the right sort of quirky appeal that I'd put into a bathroom. In my experience, if you just keep your eyes open, an appropriate quote will come across your radar. (And please, share any good ones you come across here.)

The Gardens At Sweet Pea

Well it's official~~the dog days of summer are here. We go from one extreme to the other. No rain, too much rain. I am actually quite surprised by the stamina of my gardens this year, as usually most of my plants are looking more than a bit tired by now. It isn't easy to garden in Florida. Early on I tried to achieve the cottage garden look, and I will admit that I wasted a lot of money on fussy perennials that never stood a chance even though Jackson and Perkins guaranteed they would. Those plants are but a memory now, and while I long for peonies, snapdragons and delphiniums I have learned to use what works in this brutal climate I call home. Here is a look inside the gardens at Sweet Pea...

Concrete Counter Tops

When I requested help for my kitchen countertops, a number of people suggested concrete.


One of them -- Kevin Ritter of Timeless Kitchen Design -- even sent a link to a kitchen he did that featured tin wall tiles and concrete countertops. Looks good, doesn't it? I've also experimented with staining concrete (your garage floor is a great place to experiment), and you can get some nice color tones -- copper is one of them.

There's an Instructable for making your own concrete countertops, if you'd want to take that on. It looks challenging and time consuming, but quite possible for the handy.

7 Concrete Designs.

In addition to staining, there's lots of possibilities in concrete -- you can embed things in it, or score it, or combine ideas to make something particularly spectactular.

Absolute Concreteworks

I don't know what I'll end up doing, but concrete is definitely worth thinking about. It would add a nice industrial edge to my traditional cabinetry.

Brassing up the old dishwasher

Lee sent me a link to these instructions on how to make old appliances look "new." The new they are referring to here is faux stainless steel, but the same type of contact paper is also available in brass....



In fact, I think brass contact paper could have a multitude of uses in a steampunk home. (Or copper, if you prefer.) Covering a boring side table? Papering a wall in a bathroom? Adding interest to the interior of a bookshelf? Any other ideas?


Now, if only someone can come up with a way to antique it.