Noteworthy & Quoteworthy

Lately, many of my posts have been just passing on things that others have written or said that I've found meaningful... but I hope that you find these things helpful or encouraging too. So much of these are things that I would say or have felt or thought, but then I find it in print or blog form from someone else, and so it's pointless for me to try to re-write the same thing when I happen upon someone else who has put my heart into words.

(By the way, yes, I changed my photo to the one you see here. My hair has gotten longer- pregnancy always seems to do that- and it feels dishonest to me to have a photo that isn't what I really look like. So this one is more reflective of what I look like these days.)

Here are some noteworthy quotes I've found recently:

ON LIFE MISTAKES & RE-DOs:
BETH MOORE, in a Q&A post on her blog:

Q: If you could live your life all over again, what is the one thing you would do differently?

A: The tears are stinging in my eyes and I’ll have to try hard to keep from sobbing on this one. The list of things I’d do differently is so long, I couldn’t pick one out and the worst of it so appalling that I wouldn’t share it anyway. I have been so stupid. I was so messed up and clueless that my healing took a long danged time. I am as true a testimony of the forgiveness and grace of God of anyone you could know. He has been utterly unreasonable in His love and patience for me and I will love Him forever for it. To love much after I’ve been forgiven much is my hope. ...He is such a Redeemer. His sovereignty is my only peace.

TITUS 2 MENTORING:
Susan Hunt, in Biblical Womanhood in the Home, in her chapter called, "Older Women Mentoring Younger Women":

"Everywhere I go I meet young women who long for spiritual mothers. Some express a sense of loneliness, and yet they do not even realize that the disconnection they feel is because they do not have nurturing relationships with older women... It is time for Christian women to step into this vacuum and show and tell the truth about womanhood.

But where are the older women?

In recent years, I have observed a troubling phenomenon. Many women of my generation have relinquished this high calling of nurturing younger women. My generation has abandoned this calling for many reasons. Some simply do not know this biblical mandate. ...Some think they have nothing to offer. Some are intimidated by the intelligence and giftedness of younger women. Some have decided this is the season to indulge themselves. Some want to share their life experiences, but they feel isolated from the younger women and don't know how to bridge that gap.

I plead with the church to call and equip women for this ministry. God is gifting His church with incredible young women. ... We must be good stewards of this gift. We must exemplify the faith to them, and we must teach them how to show and tell the truths of biblical womanhood to the next generation."

Megan, at My Heart, My Home, wrote about her "Titus 2 Woman":

"God knew what He was doing when He created the gift of relationship. The idea of older and younger women coming together to share life, wisdom, laughs, and so much more is brilliant. Every woman needs a friend who's a safety net that will gently catch her and help her back up on her feet when she falls. If you don't have a Titus 2 woman in your life, I encourage you to take the risk and initiative in asking someone who's caught your eye. And consider this, if you're already older, there may be a younger woman who's looking at you! I hope that I won't forget the cycle of the Titus 2 woman; that it's not always being the younger woman who's taught, but also the older woman who passes down wisdom."

ON SINGLENESS & SEXUALITY:
Joe Carter, at Evangelical Outpost, on Pre-Marital Adultery:

Consider this thought experiment. Imagine a man is to be married on February 14th and has sexual relations with a woman who is not his fiancé on:

(a) The night before his wedding.
(b) The day of his wedding.
(c) The day after his wedding.

The action in each instance is the same but the term we’d use to describe the man would depend on when the event occurred: (a) would make the man a cheating cad, (c) and adulterer, and (b) either a cheating cad or an adulterer, depending on the time of day. Regardless of what we choose to call it, the consequence of the action is the same – the man has been unfaithful to the woman. Notice that though the “temporal perspective” changes the semantics, it doesn’t change the fact that the action is immoral.*

Under this view, pre-marital sexual relations become a form of “pre-marital adultery.” We are, in essence, being unfaithful to the one we will eventually pledge emotional and sexual allegiance. Why then do we not honor this obligation? As with most things in life, what we claim to believe is betrayed by our actions. Although unmarried people often claim to believe that they are waiting for their "true love" their actions show that they don’t really believe that to be true. If they seriously believed that their true love existed then how could they be sexually unfaithful to the one person who God has chosen for them?

ON PARENTING/HOME LIFE:
H. Clay Trumbull, in "Hints on Child Training":

"Every home has its atmosphere, good or bad, health-promoting or disease-breeding. And parents are, in every case, directly responsible for the nature of the atmosphere in their home; whether they have acted in recognition of this fact, or have gone on without a thought of it. In order to secure a right home atmosphere for their children, parents themselves must be right. They must guard against poisoning the air of the home with unloving words or thoughts...

Parents must, as it were, keep their eyes on the barometer and the thermometer of the social life of the home, and see to it that its temperature is safely moderated, and that it is guarded against the effect of sudden storms. Only as such care is taken by wise parents, can the atmosphere in their home be what the needs of their children require it to be."

ON DIFFICULT TIMES/STRUGGLES IN LIFE:
Jeremiah Burroughs, in "The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment":

"We are usually apt to think that any condition is better than that condition in which God has placed us. ...God, it may be, strikes you in your child--'Oh, if it had been in my possessions' you say, 'I would be content.' Perhaps he strikes you in your marriage. 'Oh,' you say, 'I would rather have been stricken in my health.' And if he had struck you in your health- 'Oh, then, if it had been in my [business], I would not have cared.' But we must not be our own carvers. Whatever particular afflictions God may place us in, we must be content in them."

I hope these challenge and encourage you, as they have me. Blessings as you begin this week!

The Cautionary Tale of Child Celebrities: Protect & Parent Your Kids While They're IN Your Home

Watching the spectacle of celebrities who have grown up in the limelight is always a disturbing and yet somehow intriguing thing. Perhaps because it's so unusual. Perhaps because each of us yearns to be noteworthy, and we get curious about what it must be like. Perhaps because we recognize the likelihood for problems that will develop because of the choice to put your teenager in front of the world for public consumption as an actor/musician/celebrity at some of the most awkward and formative years of life.

When I read this morning about Britney Spears' dad basically getting temporary custody of Britney, to provide security, control visitors to her hospital room, and possibly make medical decisions on her behalf, it struck me that he's basically re-gained permission to be her dad. Now. At age twenty-six.

I don't want to make this post about Britney in particular... and I'm not trying to be salacious or jump on a "hip" Entertainment-Tonight-sort of story. But how sad it is that now, as an adult, with several marriages under her belt, she is only now being protected by her daddy. Why are they only now, with suicide concerns and relationships with two precious children at risk, stepping in? Why don't parents have the sense to parent when their children are in their homes? Why was she being shopped out to various programs, record labels, and TV shows as a teenager, and now, as an adult, her life is in shambles? Because she was pretty? Because she could sing and dance? Perhaps because she had some talents that they felt obligated to nourish?

My point for us is this: we have a window of influence as parents. We can use it wisely, and prepare our children for life as adults during these roughly two decades we're given with tremendous influence and control over our children's lives and environment. OR we can use it for ill in their lives. Either way, it will be used.

Using this time wisely does require that we protect them from harmful influences that they aren't yet ready for, as youths. But it's not about shielding them from all potential harm or struggles--absolutely not! They need to be exposed to adult life, and have (in my view) at least several years of practice making adult-ish decisions before they leave our homes.

At the same time, we must be cautious in the size of the load we place on our children. It's not just celebrity-kids' parents who are at risk for this. Parents of gifted students, for example, run the risk of encouraging their offspring to believe that intellect is the most important thing in life. Christian homeschool parents can (and too often, DO) place too big of expectations on their children, expecting near-sainthood and compliance with every rule and regulation while in the home, only to watch the unraveling of their children's morality and worldview as they enter adult life, with real world problems and decisions on their plates.

Giving our children increasing opportunities to make adult-type decisions and real choices while they grow up in our homes is a good and necessary thing, but we must also be careful not to forget that they are children, protecting and guarding them from the influences of the outside world.

It's such a balance, but clearly, the stakes are high, and it's worth our while to consider these things and develop a "game plan" of sorts-- to consider how much responsibility and what kinds of decisions each of our children is ready to take on.

What are your thoughts on how to go about this?

How do we balance introducing our children to real-world issues & choices while protecting them from the ever-deteriorating influence of the world around us?

How can we encourage legitimate gifts and talents to flourish and be displayed while our children are growing, without making the gifts/talents the focus?

How do you approach and deal with these challenges in your family? I look forward to hearing from you!

Need a pen?

The 1010 -- named after the "magic moment when the hands are in perfect balance" -- is a limited edition pen inspired by the wathmaker's art produced by Caran d'Ache.

(The links are to a very loud and flash heavy site.)

Another great find by Gary.