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I love to eat.
What can I say? I'm a meat and potatoes, average kind of guy. It doesn't take much to please me. I don't need a ten-course gourmet meal, and I'm not one to complain about a decent meal. My wife and I have been married for nearly eighteen months, and when we dated, she never said anything about not liking meat. But ever since we got married, all she wants to eat is rice. Sometimes she'll throw in some vegetables... but we never eat meat; she won't buy it!
When I asked about it, she said that she doesn't think we need it, it's unhealthy, gross to think about, and has made it clear that she thinks we're on this rice diet together. Forever. I work at a store in the mall, and we usually pack up leftovers for lunch (rice with an occasional side veggie). I've been so tempted to chunk it lately and go to the food court, but we promised each other that we'd not eat out. I mean, rice is good. But a little variety would go a LONG way.
Not to mention that I work right next to a Cinnabon shop and those SMELLS are driving me crazy. And then I drive past "Restaurant Row" on my way home from work. I don't want to hurt her, but this is ridiculous. It's not what I signed up for... I thought we'd be eating good at home, maybe not super amazing meals every day, but at least some tasty stuff occasionally. That's one reason I made that whole "let's not eat out" promise.
I'm sick of plain old rice. I don't have to have steak and dessert every single day, but goodness... rice and veggies is getting old FAST. How can this be fixed? Whenever I've tried to say something, she takes it as a complaint about her cooking and gets emotional and then things become even more tense and rigid. HELP!
Even though you are intricately tied to the home, you can serve, interact with, influence, and befriend all kinds of people by having a hospitable home. When people know you are happy to host guests, make desserts, or have a get-together in your home, you can become their “go-to” person whenever the need arises. When a guest preacher comes to your church, the pastor may think of you as a family who can provide him with lunch. If the women's Bible study needs someone’s home to host a party, you will become known as someone who enjoys opening up her home.
That may sound scary to you... it would have to me a few years ago. But the fact is that by opening up your home, you can get to know people better in a place that allows you to be the mom of your children. If your kids need a nap, you just excuse yourself, put them down for a nap, and rejoin the conversation moments later. Bedtime can happen and then the get-together can go on. Even during this time of "working at home”, when you aren’t regularly venturing out into the world, you can essentially bring the world to you.
OK, BUT HOW?
I'd encourage you to begin this week and learn a new dessert recipe, or put together 2-3 possible menus. Think of menus that would taste good, but also be realistic possibilities for you to prepare on an average day in your current stage of life. Think about things that can be made ahead of time and frozen, things that can cook all day in the crock pot but be excellent over rice or pasta. Consider the possibilities, and then craft a few possible menus.
Whatever you learn about your hostess skills, if you find something(s) lacking, focus on one thing that most needs improvement… and then do that one thing better the next time. The more you have people in your home, the more natural it will become. And by focusing on your one area for improvement each time, it will also become easier each time you do it.
BUT MY HOUSE IS A MESS!!!
In general, you can relax about the daily mess of life. Your home doesn’t need to look as pristine as the White House for guests to enjoy a visit in your home. Make things presentable and tidy, and then dive in. Do take the time to tidy up the room or rooms that you’ll be spending your time in, but don’t worry about it if you have a full hamper or haven’t mopped. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect, and in fact, the fact that you live in a “real” house will probably be an encouragement to the people you’re hosting.
BUT I’M NO FIVE-STAR CHEF!!!
As far as meals go, it can range from the simple and inexpensive (a baked potato buffet-style meal) to the basic and every-day (simple pasta, simple sauce, and baked/grilled chicken) to as creative and special as you want to make it. It’s really up to you. But simple meals like waffles with syrup or a grilled chicken salad can be every bit as good as the extravagantly-made meals that a chef could dream up. The point is NOT to become some world-class chef (although by having groups over, your cooking skills WILL greatly improve)… the point is to use your home to serve others.
And what a wonderful way to begin really getting to know your brothers and sisters in Christ! Invite the widows, college students or the single mom and her kids in your church over to your home.
Young moms, hospitality is an excellent way that we can extend our reach during this “home-bound” season of our lives and impact even those outside of our homes for God’s glory. We will find loads of ministry opportunities if we will graciously hold out our homes as a tool for God’s use.
Favorite person (outside family)? Without a doubt, my dear friend and mentor Angie. She's had the honesty to let me see her imperfection, and has had the guts to show me and teach me from her strengths as well. I owe so much of who I am today to my precious friend.
Favorite food? Carbs. Can I say that? Fluffy white bread, soft buttery tortillas, Cheesecake and quiche crusts.... OK, if I can't say carbs, then I'll say good authentic tacos. There's nothing like a good crunchy taco shell filled with spicy ground beef, tomatoes, sharp cheddar and monterey jack cheese, authentic guacamole, and a little salsa. YUM! I could drool right now.
Quirks about me? What's not quirky about me? I'm a Christian woman but I love movies like Spinal Tap and Monty Python. I'm only 28, but I'm married with four kids. Heck, I've got four kids and still would like to have more--that's quirky, right? I now wear skirts about 75% of the time, and yet I love my pink Converse and if my hair was long enough I'd wear braided pigtails at least once a week. I live overseas and yet I'm still an obnoxious Texan at heart. I am a homemaker (essentially, my "job" is to love and serve others) and yet I struggle with selfishness and laziness, among other less lovely qualities. I feel like I'm nothing but quirks.What job would you pay NOT to have? I don't really know what this question is asking. Can I skip it? Oh, my husband just explained it to me. I definitely would not like to manufacture creamed corn for a living. Or scrape gum off of the bottom of desktops.
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.Guilty pleasure? frozen Reese's peanut butter cups. (But truthfully, I don't feel guilty at all when I eat them-- they are so stinkin good.)